Yesterday, The Supper Mario Broth Nintendo blog tweeted an image from the Mario Party instruction booklet suggesting that Luigi is smarter than his brother, Mario. Unlike most of the dark facts and pictures that Supper Mario Broth publishes, this fact does not surprise anyone.
It is clear that Luigi is smarter than Mario. He’s also nicer than Mario, a better jumper than Mario, and if you ask me, more handsome than Mario.
However, I’m not suggesting that Luigi should take the mantle of Nintendo’s mascot. On the one hand, he hate have the focus on him that way (Luigi is a shy boy). On the other hand, Nintendo doesn’t obsess over Luigi’s image the way it gets obsessed with Mario’s, so the lanky brother is actually permitted be a scattered emotional mess that people can relate to on some level.
Now I like Mario. He’s the epitome of his games – he’s strong, he’s eager to take you exploring, and, man, he’s always dependable. But he rarely deviates from his destiny. It is like a doll that walks in a designated direction as soon as its master presses the “ON” switch.
Mario’s occasionally gives us a glimpse of his humanity when he cheers for Luigi in the Mario + Luigi games. That’s another reason to love Luigi, then: he brings Mario to life, who otherwise tends to act like an action figure.
I will also say that Luigi is braver than Mario. Ask yourself: What it is courage? Is it simply the ability to act fearlessly, like Mario? I do not believe it. Sure, when Mario hears the call to battle, he never hesitates to throw himself foot-first at Bowser even though he knows he will burn, scratch, crush, and die a dozen more kills at Nintendo. However, that is not courage. That is a toxoplasmosis infection.
True courage is facing your worst fears to save someone you love or to lift the world from the brink of destruction. Luigi lives in a state of perpetual terror, but sticks together when people count on him. Whether that means collecting his trusty Poltergust or choreographing graceful battle moves alongside Mario, Luigi works twice as hard as his brother to keep the world safe from Bowser and his kind. Your knees may bump together, your teeth may chatter, and your heart may be constantly on the verge of jumping out of this gorge and running down the street, but none of that matters. Luigi get things done.
Let’s summarize the additional reasons why Luigi is the best Mario Bro:
- His fursona is a Kitsune instead of a Tanooki. – In Super Mario 3D Land and Super Mario 3D World, Mario assumes his classic Tanooki (tanuki) form when he grabs the blade power-up. Luigi, however, has a new and improved form all to himself: he becomes a kitsune, a fox spirit who often fights with the raccoon-like tanuki in Japanese lore (the rivalry between Tom Nook and Crazy Red in Animal Crossing games is not ‘t only on counterfeit paintings). What is cooler? An ethereal fox who serves as a messenger for divine spirits, or a fat raccoon who is perpetually drunk for love and has painfully huge testicles? You shouldn’t even have to think about this.
- Princess Daisy is her main squeeze. – I have nothing against Princess Peach, Mario’s girl, but as someone who prefers hitting things with ski poles and tennis rackets to wearing pink dresses, I have a soft spot for Daisy. I know I would ask you to be me Mario universe girlfriend (if Mayor Pauline wasn’t available. How could you let her go, Mario?).
- Luigi is a hero to those of us who grew up with older brothers. – It is a privilege to have grown up in a family of game lovers. On the other hand, when you’re at the bottom of the age-based totem, things can get tough. In the worst case, your older brother (s) may force you to recite “I’m a stupid stinky idiot” before they let you play on Nintendo (not that I’m speaking from experience, ha, haha). At best, you end up being Player 2. However, that’s not so bad when Luigi is on the hizzouse. They can spend time together and share the pain of being a little brother without exchanging a single word.
Sometimes it’s good to take it easy and travel the path that your older brother softens for you. You may not win the popularity and attention of your well-known relatives, but that’s okay. You come to live life a little more slowly, a little more cautiously.
That’s the Luigi style. It is the best way.